Eva Las Vegas

Does anyone post here anymore, or even check?

This is sad.

I hate Liz Phair. But I love this song. It's constantly stuck in my head. Especially right now. I can't even really think of any other words besides these.

Stuck on an Island

When I was young
I crashed the car
I tried to bend it back into shape
With a rake for a crowbar
I wasn't dumb
But I was so naive
I saw the signs
But I didn't believe them
Now it's dark
And I'm tired
All my messages got erased
And I don't know where
my friends are
Tell me, who can I turn
to when things are so
blue?
You've got me crying over you
Dad was home
It was getting lighter
I knew he had to take it to work
In about a half an hour
I wasn't thinking clearly
It was like a panicking
sweat gripped my body
And I was stuck on an island
On a cold November morning
Doing coke with Henry
And I totalled my car
Yes, I was stuck on an island
Wondering where my mind went
Getting a cold, wet shower
If I could just black out this hour
From time

I think everyone's having a crisis right now. Was talking it over with Floofie and so many people have graduated and been like, NOW WHAT?
So muhc of my life has been geared around education. Preschool to Elementary School to Middle School to High School to College. It hasn't really helped me figure out exactly how to get from A to B.
I'm applying for secretary jobs left and right, because that's where I feel comfortable, but it's not what I want to do, really. Right now I'm gearing up to start my own cleaning business as soon as my no-competition contract is up.
I'm also going to volunteer for Planned Parenthood. It's very important for me, especially after the death of Dr. Tiller. They don't have a ton of opportunities for me right now, but maybe eventually.
Also giving blood. Third time this year on Monday. Go me!
And tomorrow I turn 24. It's funny, last year my Professor told me 23 was a lucky number. I learned a lot in year #23. I don't know how lucky it was, but it was actually a pretty good year. I feel so much more confident every year, which I like.

Quaker "True Delights" granola bars. Despite the kind of weird name (I just kept thinking of True Romance) they were definitely better than their Wal-Mart brethren. They had what appeared to be nearly real chocolate in them, and lots of it, so bonus points for that. 8/10

It is too damn hot to exist. Where is my lovely rain? Keeping blinds shut, keeping my dog out of eye line of my landlord. The apartment next to us is for rent. Lots of doofuses.

Evil Fatsalmons got another free item yesterday. It's a poster from the Wisconsin Cheese Council! Yay! It has detailed descriptions and photos of 30 varieties of cheese made in Wisconsin.
I rate it 7/10. It is very cool, but "poster" is misleading. It is slightly disappoiting in size. I was expecting poster size, but alas, it was barely bigger than a sheet of notebook paper. I was going to frame it for my dad (since he is from WI and a big cheese fan) but Dave said "That's kind of a shitty gift" so it may go in the kitchen.

So, a month ago I went online and ordered a bunch of free samples. The first arrived a few days ago, it was a Wal-Mart cereal bar. Rating: 4.5/10. Pretty gross. But free!
I had all the samples sent to my alter ego, Evil Fatsalmons.

Also, hanging out with my grandparents.
Also, there's a lot of people who I've been like, hey, let's get a beer! So let's get a damn beer. A damn cheap beer.

No job. No job. No job. This is beginning to stress me out. Yeah, I have some money in the bank, but I'd rather keep it there. And I've got some odd jobs here and there. My old bosses won't let me start a cleaning business for 5 more months (boo on them!) but if anyone knows anyone who needs cleaning done under the table...
I've been working on my stories, and sending them off, but lord knows I can't rely on them.
I'm also kind of looking for a volunteer job one night a week.
Til then, I'm brushing my teeth a lot, compulsively exercising, sleeping too much, eating ramen, writing, reading, talking, playing guitar, and trying to pretend this is a happy little vacation.

My dad is having an end of job party on Friday May 8th. I got roped into serving wine and beer because I have an OLCC card. Insurance requires a second person. Ashley can't do it after all, so I need someone (with an OLCC card) to hang with me while I open beers and pour wine.
The job is unpaid, 5~8 pm in City Hall. Free pizza though (Escape from New York!), and I'm sure I can send you home with a six pack. All the comissioners and probably the Mayor will be there, for schmoozers. If you're interested, drop me a line.

Bitchy rant alert!


So I just unfriended a certain girl who went to high school with me. Why? Well, she is a dumb bitch. She's been doing beauty pagents since high school. I had to hear about them then, I DON'T have to hear about them now. The best post recently was about how she raised a hundred dollars for some kids charity. WOW. A hundred whole dollars? I wonder how much her wardrobe for Miss Whatever She Is cost. I bet if she got a real job she could donate that herself, monthly. Or she could get a job teaching kids life skills. 
Yes, I know beauty pagents are a little more than trotting around in pretty dresses. I truly believe that if she truly cared about charity she could get a lot more done actually doing something. 
She was always the showwoman in high school (and now we're getting into 'old grudges' territory). I was in her group in freshman English when she declared her dumb poem was the best in the group and that we should choose it to read aloud. I believe it was titled 'first kiss' or some such bullshit. Then she was like jesus jesus rah rah rah. Then she ran for CHS Rose Princess and LOST (go BGump!). The best part of this is, she won her current title on an environmental platform. Hey, guess who was pulling blackberries in high school for the earth club? My friends and I. Guess who was trying out for American Idol?
Hint. Not my friends and I.
Finally, there were tryouts to sing a song during commencement. She won- she got to sing a retarded country song. I did not vote for her. I voted for Emily and Ben who sang a beautiful duet to "Across the Universe" which was nixed because "the lyrics aren't even in English."
And then she and some other dumb broad (also in pagents) friended me on Facebook, and I was like, oh, whatever. But now I see it was only to advertise her agenda. So I unfriended her. She won't even notice or care. But it made me feel real good. It made me feel great! Lesson learned: if you're feeling down, unfriend an unfriend on Facebook.

Sincerely, A Bitter Woman Who Just Wrote Her Longest Post in Ages on Someone Who Could Not give a Shit About Her

Heeey! Whoooa! Yeah! Shove THAT in your mouth then throw it up, dumbfucky!